15 reasons why Toddlers are just miniature drunks.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

Ever wondered just how alike Toddlers are to drunks?

1. They both have questionable balance and have tendencies to walk into things.  A lot. They fall over, themselves, too.

2. Both will talk at you.  Not to you but at you.  As in you have no choice but to listen.  If you walk away, they'll follow.

3. Both will spontaneously laugh or cry, usually at absolutely inappropriate moments.

4.  Both have difficulty aiming wee into the toilet.

5. They both, apparently, love you.  Or so they tell you.

6. Neither can adequately achieve getting food into their mouths without making a mess, or wearing it.

7. Both decide they're hungry in the early hours of the morning when they should be asleep and empty your fridge.

8. Neither can be trusted to find their way home on their own.

9. Both can fall asleep mid chewing something.  Or mid conversation.  Or even sat on the loo.

10. Neither have any volume regulation when talking.

11. Both snot copiously, on you, when they cry.

12. Both find willies hilarious.

13. Neither can get a key into a lock.

14. They both tend to have an exaggerated and somewhat disastrous sense of their own capabilities.  In other words, they attempt inexplicable feats and inevitably fail. Painfully.

15. Neither should be trusted around water.

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