Craft Off.

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

I'm high from spray paint fumes and I can no longer feel my fingers.  Part of my garden looks like a drag queens handbag has vomited.  Panic has set in.  & my F key keeps failing, terribly irritating when your favourite word is uck.

For some reason totally unbeknownst to me I agreed to take part in a craft competition.  Yes, me.  The Craft inept. I can't sew, draw, knit, crochet, paper cut, paper fold or anything else remotely creative.  I wish I could, I dream of it yet I appear to not possess the craft gene.  Worse still, there are only thirty entrants, 29 of which will be craft orientated, possibly with extra craft chromosomes.  Where was my better judgement and sanity when I needed it?  What is it we were told when children 'Just say no' (unless you're asked to tidy your room.  Saying no to that is detrimental to your health)  I have an abundance of ideas, it's the execution that fails me.  My attempts at anything remotely craft like would even be ridiculed by preschoolers.

Woe and behold, a huge hamper of craft delights was delivered to my door, then it hit me.  I have to make something out of all this.  Arse.

I brain stormed.  I Googled.  I entered  into a Pinterest delirium. I attempted three things, threw six tantrums and failed dismally.

Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Time is a ticking.

Hence why I can no longer feel my fingers and I'm slightly squiffy from fumes.

Worry not, all shall be revealed.  Not long now and i'll post it up on the blog and you can ridicule me at your own leisure whilst I run a bath of Gin and go under.


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