It's that time of the year again, the infamous school summer holidays. I can feel a flickering fizz along the ever increasing fracture within my sanity like some pissed off live wire. I split my time between wondering why there is no tazer app for my phone and contemplating lacing my toothpaste with gin to see if it makes the mornings more bearable.
It doesn't help that one minute the weather is trying to fry my spawn and the next it appears to be attempting to drown them. Should the weather fail to be their demise they always have each other. I have no ear plugs and find myself debating as to whether butchered tampons would work to block out the incessant arguments, shouting and screaming..... and that's just The Husband.
When the elder spawn are home The Toddler (who technically should be Thing Three by now) becomes a rampant beast of epic proportions who fills the day with tantrums and random acts of attempted siblingicide.
Where but a few months ago my womb was weeping with desire for a fourth it is now threatening to throw itself under a train at the mere mention of another spawn. Once I was pleading with the husband not to get the snip with begging sobs of 'Please Sir, can I have some more? ' now I'm offering to do it for him, with bricks.
So in some vague attempt at distracting the little darlings whilst I self medicate with copious amounts of chocolate without having to share I let them paint some bird boxes. Now several years ago I saw kits for this retailing at around £8-10 each which comprised of a bird box and a set of those bloody useless paints that are usually drier than a Nun. However, in a local pound shop I found bird boxes for you guessed it, a pound each. These are identical to ones selling on Amazon for £8. We already had some half used tubes of acrylic paint from a previous canvas exercise so it only really cost three pounds.
Thing Two who isn't terribly patient nor artistic rushed his. Thing Two rather relished the task whilst Thing Three..... Well. ... He saw a bird box and he wants to paint it blaaaaaack. Mini Goth.
Still it adds interest to the fence. ....and whilst banishing them so I could address the debris I got to stuff my face with even more chocolate, purely medicinal of course.