Grumpy old woman rant

Saturday, 9 February 2013

& now for an interlude brought to you from the grumpy side of the moon.

I absolutely despair over the future of the written English language.  I understand that once upon a time when 99% of people were on Pay As You Go phones that charged you per text it became somewhat necessary at times to truncate your messages and employ butchering techniques to words.  However, even those on PAYG phones often have oodles of texts to spare now so what is with the increasing depreciation of language?  I'll admit i'm far from being language perfect,  I make up words, frequently and when utilising ones in common existence i'll occasionally misuse them, often on purpose seeing as that's the way I roll and yet sometimes unintentionally.  I'm human, allegedly. I'm also rather partial to slang, occasionally. Yet I always attempt to express myself textually in standard written English, a trait of literacy and for the most part self respect.  From forums to FaceBook people are stripping layers from their literacy levels and with it their intelligence in some asinine drive to appear for all intent purposes obnoxiously and ridiculously, stupid.  Yes, there, I've said it.  Stupid.

You'd be forgiven for assuming i'm talking about the ripe pickings of today's youth and yet you'd also be wrong, alarmingly adults of all ages are also adopting this illiteracy.  Seriously, do our future generations stand a chance?

A perfect example of a rather charming post I stumbled across in a local selling group is on your left, my head positively aches just looking at it.  Where to start?  The pedant within me wants to get a red pen out and scrawl incessantly across the screen yet I fear there is not enough ink to even begin to correct this atrocity.

Bare in mind the author of this piece of literary wonder is well into his 20's.

Would you genuinely a) issue a threat in a public forum b) issue it in such butchered English and actually wish to be taken seriously?

'do not think i am a dick head' Indeed.  Quite.  No you're absolutely right.  Why would anyone for even a second of time possibly think you to be a dick head?

Bare in mind that the majority of phones these days have this jolly handy thing called 'auto correct' which although farcical at times does prompt you to spell correctly even going so far as predicting that which you wish to say after keying the first few characters.  There is no excuse.  None.

Lets touch briefly on grammar and the like.  Again, I hold my hands up i'm not entirely grammatically correct all of the time yet I do have an understanding of the core basics and it utterly leaves me dumbfounded that so many grownups have a complete negligence of  it.  It's rather simple really.  I'm somewhat convinced it was taught at Primary School level.  Obviously there will always be exceptions to the rules, everyone has their problems, some people are compromised within their ability to learn, yet we're not talking about the odd case here, we're talking about a multitude of people every single day.  People who are fortunate enough to not suffer from learning difficulties yet are afflicted with a can't be arsedness.

It's rife, society is riddled with this abhorrent case of self imposed illiteracy.  You find local companies touting for business claiming to fix 'ur' phone.  'Ur'? Really? One would suggest you fix your language first and foremost before I entrust you with anything else.  It's not big, it's not clever it's rather abysmal and reflects badly on society as a whole.  To think some of these people are apparently responsible for the next generation leading them not into literacy and delivering them from intelligence.

Other pet hates within the useage or misuse of the English language.  You have been somewhere you haven't however bin somewhere, though I am rather tempted to put you in a bin. Cum over here? No thank you  I barely know you and besides you're not my type. Nobody and nothing is gawjus, why?  because the word you cretins are looking for is gorgeous, if you find it terribly difficult to spell, substitute it with something you can.  It's neither big, clever nor funny.

Don't even get me started on the creative butchering of given names................


  1. I'm not religious but the only term that fits, suitably, here is 'Amen to that'.

    I cannot stand it, it makes my skin crawl and my head hurt. People demand to not be judged yet, ignoring the actual content of your example, they talk in a way that screams 'Judge me and don't be nice about it!'

    And yes, the volume of instances is freaking horrendous.

    I've actually wanted to put my head in my hands and groan, with a half laugh, when I've seen people who type with rather bad grammar (so pretty well educated in ludicrous missuse of language themselves ) have to ask someone for a translation as the person they're asking is SO bad that someone who is quite bad themself can't even understand.

    I could respond at the same length of your original reply but I'll just go back to basics and say 'Here here' whilst trying not to cry into my tea over the possible future of the english language

  2. I did cackle whilst reading this as I have just replied to someone by text saying "until you learn the difference between they are, they're and there, I am not replying" xx

  3. Brilliant! This post made me laugh.

    What really gets to me is "should of" instead of "should have"

    I'm far from perfect and there is something about Facebook messenger that brings out the worst in me.

    Now I'm wondering....was the "Bare in mind" deliberate? :P

  4. shhhh nobody else has noticed yet ;)


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