By heck it's been frightfully cold here, cold as in the heating is on 24/7 (sorry Dad) yet as much as the cold, quite literally, pains me I perversely much prefer the cold to the hot, I always have been somewhat of a Winter Girl at heart. However, there is one condition to me tolerating the cold and that would be snow. Yes i'm one of those people that rather then flail in mad hysterical panic at the mere thought of it, I actually revel in it. There's a serenity in snow, it is quite simply beautiful. The mere thought of it is uplifting. So imagine my recent disgust where the cold brought with it nipples like bullets, blue toes and visible breaths that make everyone from behind look like smokers yet no bloody snow. In the recent words of The Toddler 'Not Fair.' However, Mother Nature has indeed redeemed herself as The Gods have indeed let it snow! The Met Office predicted rubbish old sleet yet outside the window is a flurry of precious white flakes of snow. Hoorah! I must confess I did a little dance and some shrieks of utter glee because IT'S SNOWING!. However, I am without doubt that it won't last and within an hour or two it will resort to mere sleet. Pissflaps.
Yet despite the brain freezing weather I'm still afflicted with shoeitis and am longfully fawning over pretty shoes that I can neither afford nor walk in and are most absurdly impractical for winter anyway, yet one can't help but sigh and perve over the shininess. At least I appear to have finally broken in the boots of doom that fingers crossed appear to no longer be yapping and snapping at my heels like an irate intoxicated Yorkshire Terrier.
For once i'm feeling uncharacteristically smug to some extent as my usually unheard of planning has indeed beaten the weather with The Toddler possessing a winter coat, a polar fleece all in one and fluffy lined snow boots. Blimey how about that for prepared? I'm rather naively hoping that Thing Two's waterproof dungas will serve us yet another year and indeed Thing One's water proof trousers whilst I ignore the ridiculously obvious fact that the little blighters have grown, again. I may have down a shot of something wicked to numb that little voice in my head that squeals like a girl with sheer petrification at the thought of kitting The Spawn out for Winter (poor Thing Two must have shit blood like me for she too is terribly sensitive to the cold) and have an internal argument with myself in order to justify some spending. Thankfully in true MamaUndone fashion, I can remain slatternly and do it from the uncomfort of my own decrepid sofa where it's at least warm and fire up ye old browser to E-Outdoor and try dreadfully hard to silence my own 'But what about me? I want a nifty North Face Coat tooooooo!' (yes I absolutely am that whiney) As it is, what with Christmas, winter clothing and you know that whole food thing i'll end up having to sneakily liberate the pocket hand warmers bought as an intended gift for The Mother which are fabulously and disgustingly kitsch. One day i'll learn to knit or crochet and finally own a pair of those gorgeous wrist warmers (with fold over mits) in a delicious autumnal rainbow (think Girasol Earthy Rainbow for fellow babywearing geeks) You know the kind, all those dastardly crafty people who seem to make, not that the people are dastardly they're rather lovely, i'm just a jealous old twunt who is craft inept.
Speaking of craft, I still need to make a matching tutu for Thing Two's doll in time for christmas.
Oh no. Who stole the snow? It's stopped. My smile has drooped all the way into my tomato soup.