Men: they're not all bad.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Before I start this disjointed and spontaneous little rant in my sleep deprived state, I'm not attempting to start a debate on the ins and outs of inequality, feminism and such.  As much as I believe in what I say there is an element of tongue in cheek involved at times. This isn't a political nor social forum of discussion, I don't need educating in definitions and propaganda.

Equality is a term that we see often bandied about or more the notion of inequality.  Now the feminists amongst us will probably start hurling rocks at me, but on a basic level, are we meant to be equal   Are we made to equal each other or to compliment each other?

Is it 'fair' that woman get to experience pregnancy and birth  and men do not?  That the woman get a baby shower?  That she gets maternity leave as opposed to the new 2 week paternity leave? Is it fair that a wedding is considered 'The Brides Special Day?' and often the men just have to fit into her plans?  Is it fair that if a man ogles and wolf whistles at a woman he's a letch yet if a woman and her peers 'check out' a man, it's just a bit of fun?  Is it fair that male strippers are considered raunchy, risque and fun yet a female is merely cheap and slutty?  Upon proposing it's traditional for the man to buy a ring and there is an expectation that it should be expensive, really is that fair?.  Little girls can be Scouts yet boys can't be brownies. Domestic abuse against a woman is considered grave and hideous yet against a man when the woman is the perpetrator it's often unspoken of and ridiculed.  

It works both ways.

The male midwife or beautician who's laughed at by his mates and given a raised eyebrow from his patients.  The SAHD who obviously mustn't be able to find a real job like a real man and be the sole breadwinner to support his family. The man in the office/shop who's 'expected' to do the 'heavy/dirty' work.

Yes we know 'but woman get paid less in the same industries as male counter parts' and it's so hard and unfair being a woman competing against men.

Maybe that is exactly it though.  Maybe we shouldn't be competing.  There is a risk of saying 'we are equal' for it to then become 'and we're better' which is as far from equal as it can get. 

What is wrong with being a woman.  I'm all for woman being whatever they want to be in life, yet why is it that in striving through industry and politics it now becomes almost taboo to want to be a SAHM?  That to want to stay at home with your children or want a mere job instead of a career is somehow a slight on the female population.  That there is something wrong with wanting to look after the house and cook for your husband that it somehow makes you lacking in aspiration, motivation and dynamism.  Likewise what is so wrong with a man wanting to provide for his wife and children?  To want to hold a door open for a woman, to pull a chair out for her or give up his seat or even jacket for her?  Generally males are physiologically built to handle certain tasks easier then their female counterparts, so is it therefore wrong for him to lift and move heavy items and do more DIY? To want to protect a woman?  As happy as I am to 'go dutch' is it now a faux pas for a man wanting to 'take care of the bill'? or open the car door. What about the the page three girl who is more then happy with her chosen career, she enjoys it and gets paid well yet other woman are irate and outraged on her behalf at being so exploited.  Where is the woman's right to choose here? Through trying to not be dictated to by men are woman now dictating to each other on how we ought to be/feel/think? 

The majority of strife within my life has be in fact caused by woman.  In the work place? Opression and bullying from a female boss despite there being many more men in the job.  Problems with Medics?  They were all female.  It wasn't the men in these instances opressing me, bullying  me, belittling me.  It wasn't because I was a woman, it's because they were arses.

It's as if it's wrong to be feminine or masculine.  Are we working towards an androgynous race? Is it terribly wrong to be a man or a woman instead of a person?  

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand and sympathise with the plights of woman in wanting equality.  I do feel, regardless of gender, each person should have the same rights, opportunities and choices.  I do, I really do.  I know that we could take a different take on most examples and turn the tables in favour of men.

Yet sometimes we forget, sometimes men get the rough end of the deal too.  Sometimes in life it's as if they really can't do right for doing wrong and vice versa.  It's not always the blokes fault, maybe we should cut them some slack..... if they're not gentlemen they're chauvinistic pricks, if they are then they're also... chauvinistic pricks.  Yet we, as woman, reserve the right to be mortally offended either way.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah you make some great points. Although I live in America and it's pretty politically correct so they ask you 'do you work outside the home?' at dinner parties, which is a tad patronizing but at least they acknowledge that being a SAHM is actually a job and a bloody hard one at that. It is a shame that so many people say 'oh you're just a mum' but the best thing to do it just ignore them I find.


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