Soul evacuating in 5, 4, 3, 2....
The only thing heavier then my mood is the rain. Once again it's not the invigorating rain that sends a quickening through your veins making you want to sit in it, dance under it and kiss beneath it, feeling it tickle between lips on lips as it copulates with the remnants of light between your lashes. It's just for want of a better phrase, bloody bombing it down. Yet it's not just the rain that saturates it's the swollen thick grey. A choking grey that makes you feel as if you should chew the air first before you inhale and yet when you exhale it's a battle to force a breath out into the greyness making you feel ineffectual and unsubstantial.
I want to break free.
Yes, I need a break damnit. A break from the utter banality and sheer soul rotting monotony of every day life. I need to breath and some sleep would be terribly nice too if it's nae too much bother. I'm stumbling in the dark trying to braille read the autobiography of my soul before the rain washes it away. Before the grey washes what's left of me away, whoever 'me' is.
A holiday would be awfully marvellous yet a logistical nightmare and a financial impossibility. Even a round trip on the local bus is out of the question (& not to mention somewhat whiffy, they're indeed some rather odd and frightful people out there) Yet if you could go anywhere, where would you go?
A friend pointed me towards a cruise company the other day called Cruise Kings . My first response was one of distaste, as if he'd written something vaguely vulgar and terribly offensive. I mean really...a cruise? How frightfully urgh. I couldn't think of anything worse then being on a water bound prison full of those awful nasty things that make you late for dinner, no not adventures....people. Yes people. Lots of people, and no escape. How utterly hideous. What I failed to realise is that there are cruises for everyone. It's not all sangria's on deck and sequins at dawn whilst you grab a granny for a waltz and step over randomly discarded children living it up en route to sunny Spain. There also exists the rather marvellous Norwegian Fjords cruise (amongst others) How absurdly breath taking that must be. I would be irrevocably captivated and somewhat in a state of permanent awe for the duration. The kind of landscape that makes you breath in and forget to breath out as it consumes you from the inside out. The Husband and I never had a honeymoon, in fact we've never had a holiday just for us. One day, when we win the lottery or something equivocally unlikely that would render us financially able, we'll go. We've been together 12 years and married for eight (oh dear god, if i wasn't depressed before I bloody well am now) One day we will get our honeymoon. Maybe even our dream of seeing The Northern Lights too. Fuck knows we deserve one.