Hooray for boobies

Thursday, 16 August 2012

As a girl I spent the first half of my life wishing for boobs or rather bigger boobs and the second half wanting smaller. It's a no win situation. Many of you may remember my previous posts on the woes of bra shopping or should I say shopping for scaffold.  Gone are the days when I was young slim and a saucy C-D cup with a draw full of underwear delight. Shiny, sexy, colourful pieces of confidence lego.... I had Bras Galore. I could happily go into any department store and let my purse feast on pretties that looked amazing and more importantly made me feel amazing. Underwear shopping was a thrill, a treat.
Nearly five years of breastfeeding and three children later not to mention battling obesity and winning and It's a whole different story. I don't need a bra I need scaffolding, better still....a miracle. I keep telling them jokes with the futile hope that they may actually perk up but to be honest, they are the joke.
If you bear in mind that most 'normal' bras stop at an H then factor in the fact you need nursing bras your choice becomes depressingly limited and you can forget about one of those much needed underwired nursing bra jobbies, its nasty granny bras all the way in white, black or if you're incredibly lucky...... flesh coloured (seriously, Wtf?) All of which give a hilarious unattractive shape (conical....how very 80's) don't forget that you also get The pleasure of paying a fortune for each of these. I resent paying a fortune for a necessity and more so when quite frankly It's fugly and makes you feel more like Madame Doubtfire then a hot mama.
You could have the most amazing outfit in the world yet if you're Bridget Jonesing underneath it, you may as well have your dressing gown on.
Trust me, going braless is not an option. I should require a license for these boulders, I already get black eyes if I contemplate running down the stairs.
So the search is forever on for comfortable, feminine, sexy, supportive bras for us poor sufferers of hugeboobitis that won't leave us weeping in bankruptcy, brownie points if they're actually nursing bras too.
Thankfully there are now several companies who have not only accepted that the average bra size has increased but are actively doing something about it and are stocking gorgeous bras in larger cup sizes, like Bras Galore . Shop in the comfort of your own home, search by size to avoid that spirit crushing moment of finding the bra only to realise it only goes up to a maximum size that is about five cup sizes smaller then what you need. Oh and free delivery too! (Always a factor that sways me when choosing where to shop)
Hopefully The Toddler will self wean within the next 12-18months so I can throw away there skanky vile nursing bras I had the pleasure of forking out way too much money for and finally start to have a draw of fun, sexy, gorgeous Bras Galore again.
Never underestimate the power a well fitting and pretty bra can exert on both your confidence and your figure. Seriously, something like 80% of woman are wearing the wrong size bra. Take a look around next time you are out, if a bra is fitted right a woman's cleavage should not be dusting her knees nor should a woman find it uncomfortable. That well known equation that far too many shops rely on along with a tape measure, if you're well endowed is quite frankly as true to life as rocking horse shit.
The back should not ride upwards, The band not The straps should take the weight and support you, the band should be tight on the loosest setting (yet loose enough to fit two fingers down) so that as the elastic becomes worn you can keep tightening it.  If you can easily pull the band away from your back, its too big! Remember generally if you go down a back size you go up a cup size and if you go up a back size you usually go down a cup size.
Several chains and many independant shops now offer a no measuring fitting service. Seriously, find one and go. You may be amazed. I ended up finding out I was actually four back sizes smaller and 6 cup sizes bigger then What the tape measure and equation had come up with. I instantly had better posture, a better shape, went down a clothes size up top and felt human again.
Having hugeboobitis doesn't have to be misery, we can be proud of them and look awesome too.


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