Or as they are better known as, nits, though I do believe the title name is far more apt.
I have on idea why but fortune shone upon me when I was a child and I thankfully never endured nits, which was a mercy since I had incredibly long hair. The one and only residential brownie trip I attended (which I hated and was thoroughly pissed off throughout) one of the other girls had nits so alas we all had to be treated 'just in case' despite it turning it she was the only one. I was incandescent with rage, how very dare they put nits lotion on my hair?! It took forever and I think I grumbled the entire time that my mum would kill them when she found out.
My Mum back then was obsessed with cleanliness, her hands always smelled of bleach. I was lead to believe that nits were horrible, filthy things that nice decent children never got.
So you can imagine my absolute horror when Thing Two brought then home from school. To be blunt, my anxiety went postal. I spent weeks convinced I was itchy nearly tearing chunks out of my hair with a nit com even cutting my hair. I never once found a Single nit nor any lice yet I'd be unable to sleep at night. I spent the days googleing like a woman possessed.
Here's the thing though, they're just really one of those things. They hold on prejudice, anyone can get them. I just wish other parents at school were a bit more proactive and vigilant about it. Bring back the nit nurses I say, at least then they may be caught and dealt with earlier and not be so ignored.
It's one of those funny taboo subjects really though, isn't it? Like worms, thrush and the runs that people just don't talk about.
Nobody else in the house got then either. I guess we caught them early. Despite using that godawful noxious stuff on her hair and doing many many many conditioner and comb sessions resulting in absolute trauma due to the length of her hair, I only ever found two lice and some eggs.
So fast forward about 18m and I found some in Thing Two's hair this week. Out came the Nitty Gritty comb of doom and Oodles of conditioner. We bypassed the noxious stuff this time as in all honesty, simple conditioner and comb is infinitely cheaper and more effective and without all the nasty chemicals too.
Oh how he cried. And cried. And cried. If The Husband had his way Thing One would have just had an asbo but aka skin head to get rid of them. No way Jose.
Then I decided to be on the safe side and do The Toddler too which was incredibly heart breaking making him cry yet I refuse to chop off his beautiful long hair just in case he has nits (Whe doesn't have them)
So two down and one to go. The one being knackered, sad, having an emo day Thing Two.
Her hair had grown long again, not because she actually desired long hair but rather she refused to let anyone but it. Her first two trips to the hair dressers went fine yet the next two she burst into tears and point blank refused.
So last night to try and limit the trauma of the comb she permitted of to cut her hair without a Single tear nor protest. Just a shame I'onm crap at it.....
Unfortunately the long and tedious date with the Nitty Gritty wasn't so calm....in fact it was 30-45 minutes of blood curdling screaming, so much she was near vomiting from the upset. I think my heart broke.
Thankfully she had no lice and barely any nits at all.
I have nits. Hate, hate, hate them. I abhor making my children cry.
....and to think I'll have To do it all again in a few days just to be sure. Urgh