of being 5 with an imagination.

Thursday, 3 May 2012




Thing Two has an extraordinarily super imagination. She is a dab hand at drawing, stories, making things, lego, song lyrics etc, incredibly creative and yet ruthlessly analytical at times leaning towards being a pedant.

However, there is a dark side to imagination. Although she has her fair share of bad dreams the biggest issue is that which prevents sleep in the first place 'bad thoughts' which all sounds awfully ominous with a side order of sinister.  Yet if you were to ask The Husband he'd likely describe it rather differently along the lines of 'bloody annoying' for it is he who does Thing One and Thing Two duty each evening and gets the fated 'DAAAAD' hollered, usually within ten minutes of putting the little darlings to bed just as he sits down, exhales, contemplates a can of lager and match of the day.  Whilst laid in bed with The Toddler attached to me doing that age old 'if you even think about reclaiming your boob and getting comfortable I shall wake up and cry, lots' thing I hear the predictable muffled roar of 'pissing hell' followed by The Husband pounding up the stairs in a sublime state of agitation.

Yet, last night The Husband went out to play at a friends house. Five minutes after he left I heard the familiar fog horn 'DAAAAAD' Now, I was in bed with The Toddler who'd been feeding to sleep for twenty minutes and although dozing he was still at that semi aware point where if I was to sneak my boob away he'd snuffle blindly and frantically for it threatening to wake up.

I listened keenly to see if Thing Two would cry (she didn't) or choose her usual course of action when The Husband is out which involves creeping across the landing and standing silently outside my door until my mummy radar senses her.

Before she could embark on the latter course of action I heard Thing One pipe up from his bed...

Thing One: 'Dad's gone out'

Thing Two: 'Oh.'

Thing One: 'what's wrong?'

Thing Two: 'I want Dad'

Thing One: 'well he isn't here. Tell me instead'

Thing Two: 'No.'

Thing One: 'Well, you'll have to wake Mum and [The Toddler] then.

Thing Two: (thinks about this and determines that would be a bad idea) 'I had bad thoughts'

Thing One: 'well, try and think about good things like a world made of Mars Bars instead'

After a while all was silent. When The Toddler had eventually given in to deep slumber and allowed me to extricate my boob from his mouth without waking I crept out. I literally get about ten minutes before his 'Mummy has dared to leave me!' Sensor goes off. I love to stand in their doorways and watch Thing One and Thing Two sleep, and asleep they were albeit with Thing. Two doing that eerie eyes half open thing and Thing One was predictably half naked. Only when all three are fast asleep can I exhale.

Lest I forget, just for the record, had Thing Two been in tears or shaken I wouldn't have hesitated in calling her into my room to comfort her and risked the wrath of The Toddler and having to attempt operation #gothefucktosleep all over again (with gritted teeth, a sore shoulder and protesting nipples)

Anyway this morning I asked her what the bad thoughts were last night to which she replied nonchalantly 'oh, we were walking down a road and [The Toddler] fell down a big hole and we couldn't get him out and then a car ran over him and we had to get a new baby' pretty impressive bad thought considering she'd only been in bed 5 minutes when she'd had it. I asked her if cuddles from [Thing One] would have helped yet she  simply retorted 'not really. I don't like it when he breaths'

....

I then inquired as to what she eventually thought about to get to sleep...  'oh, a house made of chocolate that we could eat and it kept growing back'

Oh to be a five year old...

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