Time seems to be standing still in some cruel game of life. I feel like I should be at least 10 weeks pregnant by now but alas, no, here I am still teetering on the vulnerable cusp of the first trimester, tip toeing around the rim of excitement and fear at 5+4. I shall warn you, it is after all only fair, I only get worse.
Already I have had the attack of the killer pregzilla hormones with bouts of irrational spiky anger interspersed with isolated incidents of bawling my heart out. Grey's Anatomy is definitely not healthy for my mascara, darlings. Still it's an improvement on my last pregnancy when I'd burst into uncontrollable tears every time The Child (then The Toddler mark 1) had Fireman Sam on the television.
Then there are the adventures of my missing vocabulary followed by the sequel 'where is my mind?' (not by The Pixies...although it would make a rather fitting soundtrack)
So far this pregnancy:
* When trying to express that it keeps raining what I actually said was 'It keeps weeing'
* I (a grown up, allegedly) put my boots on the wrong feet and failed to notice until I stood up.
* Whilst carrying out the mundane and seemingly simple task of making dinner I had two pans with water on the hob. One of the FL ring and one on the BR ring. Now the one on the BR started to boil, as it should yet the one on FL remained unboily despite me poking it, alot. Turns out I'd turned the BL ring on instead. Oops! So I turned it off and turned the FL on again. same thing happened. It transpires that I'd once again turned the BL on! I'd turned it off then turned it back on again!
* Sometimes whilst bathing The Toddler I leave the window open in my room to let soem fresh air circulate. however, usually I close it as soon as The Toddler is in bed so a) the house cat doesn't fall to it's doom and b) ditto to The Toddler. The other night I went to bet so cold my teeth were chattering, I just couldn't understand it! That was until The Husband discovered the window was open, and had been open for about 5 hours!
Still, I'm doing well. last pregnancy I managed to burn my bump (impressive scar it was!) and set a kitchen roll alight narrowly missing setting the kitchen on fire. Oops.
No wonder The Sprogs are such clever little buggers, they leach my intelligence through pregnancy. I used to have a brain, I did. I did! I tell you.
Now you must excuse me, The Toddler & The Child are moshing to Anthrax and I need to go hunt a chicken....damn these cravings.