Friday, 6 February 2009

How not to have a lie-in:

* Allow your 29 month old to co-sleep in your bed
* Ensure said 29 month old is a total boob junkie
* Try to ignore said Toddler whilst she harasses you endlessly screaming for booby
* Wither with woe when The Toddler peeps through the curtains and realises it's not night anymore
* Close eyes tight and pretend The Toddler isn't running round the room and bouncing on the bed like she's on crack
* Try not to vomit when The Toddler secretly shits, takes her own nappy off, tries to wipe her own arse then smears said shit-caked arse all over your bottom sheet
* Chase The Toddler round the room getting increasingly miffed at her whilst trying to successfully wipe her arse
* Realise resistance is futile, life is unfair and The Toddler is a total minx...a lie-in is not going to happen.

1 comment:

  1. Funny, the co-sleeping booby monster is the only way I can get anything even approaching a lie in!!


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